Sunday, January 18, 2009

Official Wendy's Boycott Begins

Today I didnt have to work. The most important decision of the day was: Wendy's or Taco Bell? I tough call to be sure. This decision was ultimately swayed by the fact that I had a coupon for a FREE TACO! from Taco Bell. Fast-forward to Taco Bell parking lot, 6:30pm. You would have thought they were giving out FREE TACOS! today. Drive-thru was backed-up up into the parking lot; inside was hopping. Quick decision time, the football game is coming on, gotta go gotta go. Fuck FREE TACO! coupon, Wendy's time.

Now, I will say that Wendy's and I had a falling out a while back when my co-worker and I were trying to lose some weight. We decided we would do Wendy's for lunch every Wednesday during out "staff meeting". Well, three straight times of cold fries, and chicken nuggets and I stopped going. 
Also contributing; Have you seen the prices there lately?!?!? Holy shit. Remember the 99cent 5-piece nugget: $1.39 now! I thought we were in a recession? Remember when you could get the Double cheeseburger combo meal and a 5-piece for like $6? Okay, the combo meal is now $6.50...that's for the small! That means you are breaking off over $7 for the large combo. Add a 99cent 5-piece now for $1.39 and you are getting dangerously close to $9.. FOR WENDY'S!
( Now before all one of you readers start in with the, "well maybe that should let you know you shouldn't get the big combo, just get the regular one", or "those chicken nuggets aren't good for you anyway". Shut the Fuck up. I don't want to hear about it. If you say you care about nutrition or your health when you are going to eat Wendy's you are a fucking liar. I don't care about any of that shit when I go to Wendy's, I just want a hot burger with crispy fries and nuggets. Not a lecture.)

So I digress, I gave in and went. Well that'll be the last time, possibly forever. I will attempt to illustrate this as thuroughly (and colorfully) as possible.
-decided on drive-thur, gotta save time, check. 
-checked that the combo meals were still way to expensive, Check. 
-Mutter, "Fuck you wendy's" under my breath, check. 
-Order Two-double stacks(99cents), one 5-piece nugget with ranch($1.39!), 1-value fry (99cents). 
-"Want something to drink with that?" Mutter, Fuck you... "No Thanks". 
-$4.80 or something like that. Dynamite. No one in the drive-thru. Things are going well.

Don't forget, Gotta pay at the first window and get food at the second window, thereby eliminating anyone from possible responsibility and increasing the frequency of Fuck-ups 10fold.
First Window: 
-Credit Card ready, Check.
-Roll down my window when it's freezing cause the guy's looking at me, Check.
-Stay there with my hand extended as guy takes someone else's order, Check.
-Stay there with my hand extended in the FREEZING FUCKING COLD as guy takes yet another person's order, CHECK!
-Fucking idiot with the headset on takes card, swipes, gives it back to me without saying a word, check.

-Wait three minutes, check.
-Roll down window when the guy tries to give me 2 large pops and two children's milks and tell him that's not my oder, CHECK. (I mean seriously, I'm a 27yr old slob driving a beatup Cavalier, hmm now that I think of it, that is a stereotype for Father of two kids in south bend, HA!)
-Other kid comes into the picture now, "Whata we need, Whata we need?" Me: I repeat order, sloooowwwlly, FUCKING CHECK GIVE ME MY FOOD!!!
- Old man who tried to give me kids milk gives me a bag with obviously too much food, check.
-Old man says, "whoops, wrong oder, give me that back.", check.
-Kid gives me a bag that is too small for my order, so it won't close. IT'S -500 FUCKING DEGREES OUT MAN, can you give me a bag that closes, so I have a chance to get my fries that are already probably freezing home before they are frozen? Me: "Thanks :)", check.

The Drive Home:
-Driving down the road , decide to eat a double stack, unwrap, take a bite. AHHH, tasty CHICKEN!! They gave me the wrong order AGAIN!! , check. (FUCKKKK)
- Whip a shitty on McKinley, check.
-Get out of car back at Wendy's. Guy who gave me said order is outside smoking, sees me drive in, throws half smoked cig, and heads inside, check. (THAT"S RIGHT MUTHAFUCKA, YOU BETTER HEAD BACK INSIDE)

Alright the "checks" are getting annoying. Suffice it to say, they were unsurprised at their error, told me I was lucky that I got new, hot fries, and DID NOT, I repeat, DID NOT EVER say, "I'm sorry." Fast forward back to home. Cold 5-piece nugget, no napkins, NO RANCH. fuck me.
So that's it Wendy's, you and I are done. I'm tired of your overpriced food, your unintelligent, underacheiving staff, your shitty heat lamps, and these love handles.

Dave Thomas is turning in his grave over this shit.

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