I'm Just Wonderin'

What do I smell like to a dog?

After you get done laughing or thinking, "this guy is fucked up", consider it.

Big Willy (my boss/drinking buddy) has a boxer, Elwood. Elwood is with us alot. In the car, at the house, just generally around alot. He's a good dog, very friendly and loves loves loves any and all food you might have or have had and remnants still linger on your fingers or in your immediate vicinity. He is ornery though, and absolutely craves and sometimes demands attention. He can smell a person coming from pretty far away. We know that dog's have an extremely sense of smell, I'm just wondering if it smells the same as we smell it, just amplified, or do things smell different when you can notice any and all nuances of something. Kinda like TV in HD. It's the same, but very different.

I'm just wonderin'.

I'm Just Wonderin... (usually on thursday, but not this week)

In honor (or just straightup copyright enfringement) of one of my favorite people, I give to you, "I'm just wondering Thursdays.

Every Thursday (or Friday), I will simply put my latest wandering thought of the week.

This week:

Why is fish not considered meat?

Meat is animals.. fish is an animal.

Meat isn't exclusive to land, because birds are considered meat, but water animals.... oh no my friend, not meat, that's just fish.

As my favorite Wednesday night chef so aptly put it, "it probably has something to do with the church striking up a deal with fish mongers when they started lent"

Probably dead on. Just another example of the Catholic church fucking with everyone's sensibilities.

hey pope, hey pope, your hat looks dumb.

latenight, drunken post, sure to be deleted

It's curious to me that dreams can so effect our lives. Today I was heading to lunch (early breakfast for me) with the roommate at our favorite spot. He was describing to me that he had a very disturbing dream last night ( I can attest, he wasn't exaggerating, it was fucked up). I thought, did I have a dream last night? As I recounted, I did. And it proceeded to fuck my day up. BTW, my roommate's dream consisted of a Dr. taking blood from his nose with a huge ass needle and he pulling it out. WOW.

In my dream, I dreamt about the EX. Goddammit. The Ex. To preface the ex, it goes something like this. We dated for a long time. Circa 2.05 - 1.08 Almost 3 years. We broke up once, but it was temporary. The first 6 months were close distance (30minutes away), the rest was long distance (5hrs away). We had a great relationship, one that I wouldn't trade anything for. Why it didn't work out? That's anyone's guess. She wanted to settle down, I always felt insecure about the $$$, the timing, the anything. I guess I was noncommittal in that way. I loved her, I guess I always will. On her engagement website (yeah that's right) it says that her first date with her beau was 12.14.07, proposed to on 3.15.08. You do that math.

As hurt as I was (and apparently still am) it made sense in my mind. Local guy, financially secure, nice guy, what's not to like. In the end, she wanted to get engaged, no matter who, only soon. I know it seems so long ago that I should get over it, it seems silly looking at the date now, and I thought I was. It seemed as if I was content to be single for the time being. I mean I've had dates and hookups since, but nothing seemed to stick.

So anyway, back to the dream. I was in a house with a girl, content. Everytime I look out the window, she's leaning against a tree looking at me. First I go out and talk to her and go back inside. Later I look out, still there. I just breakdown crying. I go out pleading for her to leave, and to no avail. She stays. The girl leaves later and I go out again. Things get more heated (verbally speaking) and then more physical (emotionally speaking). That is all I remember. I remember this in the car on the way to lunch and my demeanor on the day totally changes. I cannot get this dream out of my head, and it had previously not been there at all. I don't know what this means and I guess it doesn't matter. The only thing that does matter is I need to put this behind me for good. It's over and done with. But for some reason it sticks with me. Thanks to the Ex for getting me out of the funk of not posting I guess. I don't know. With everything else being so fucking out of whack, it's really the last thing I need. 

No happy ending, no funny quip...just bewilderment.

Coach wins big, gets fired

So this one time, a coach won his basketball game by 100 points; then he got fired. In fact, he won by a final score of 100-0. It bears repeating, he won a basketball game by 100 points. The coach of the winning private Christian school, The Covenant, Micah Grimes did not agree with the schools stance that it was embarrassed by the lopsided win. He was then fired. It seems that he was not fired for the victory, but for his descent of toeing the line.

In the words of Herm Edwards, "you play to win the games." Now I've heard that the box score showed that Covenent only scored 12 points in the fourth quarter, so it seems that when they were ahead 59-0 at the half, they took their foot off the gas.

The most important blame that is not being discussed here is who the hell scheduled this game? The athletic directors of these two schools should have never let this happen. The losing school only boasts 28 females students total, with 8 of those on the basketball team. They should obviously never be playing a team of this caliber. Who's to blame here? The coach that did his job to the best of his ability, the players who did what players do and score, the players who can't score one freaking point, or the AD's that are so oblivious to their athletes abilities that let this "contest" take place? You be the judge. 

Just a reminder: the downfall of American society continues

For the second week in a row, "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" is the top grossing movie. That's right, it's Oscar season and we are talking about Kevin James again. And people mock Kevin Costner. At least he gives a shit and tries.

Paul Blart beat out the third installment of the Underworld movies at number two, Gran Torino with Clint Eastwood, Hotel For Dogs at number four, and Slumdog Millionaire rounds out the top five. That's right, it beat a popular sequal, an award buzzworthy flick, a movie with the red-hot Don Cheadle, and a movie up for 10 Oscars.

A big thank you to all the morons in America. YOU SUCK!

On a side note, one of the 12 year olds that I coach went to see Paul Blart with his dad this weekend, and he thought it was hilarious. He couldn't stop laughing while telling me all the funny parts of the movie. Congrats on all your mature fans Kevin!

former athletes insomniacs dream

Australian Open coverage live from 9pm-3am every night. Sometimes later!

As a lifelong Andre Agassi fan, there is no way that I couldn't love the tournament that so defined Andre's career. A tournament at the beginning of the season that most players were not conditioned enough at that point to compete in the heat, Andre always flourished. He was the hardest-working, smartest player for the later point of his career and it always showed here. It has been stated numerous times over the first week of this tournament that many of the athletes took a page straight from the Agassi playbook on how to prepare for this tournament and cope with the heat. A testament to a person who started as a young man all about perception and ended as a great ambassador for the game who was all about fulfilling potential and maximizing opportunities.

Damn I love that man. Some may talk about what he could have accomplished, but without the experience of the journey, you never know where or how he might have ended up. He might be a very different person had he taken a journey without the pitfalls and learning associated with it.

Alright, I'm getting teary-eyed here, stop gloating and go donate to the Agassi foundation you heartless bastards.

Say it ain't so Joe!

Joe Torre, you're better than that! In the spirit of Stephen Colbert's "Wag of the finger", C'MON JOE! In a world of sensationalized, well...everything, there are few people let in the limelight with real integrity and just general, old school workmanship. No bitching, no whining, blame me first, no nonsense guys who I really respect.

Take Mike Krzyzewski, or Coach K, as he's affectionately known. That's a guy who gets it. He learned from the oldest of old school, refined it in a disciplined environment, added his own added level of caring and BOOM, ideal mentor, coach, father, and man. Yeah, I'm sure no one is perfect and he is no exception, and he would freely admit that, but that's a man right there. No fuss, no airing of grevances to the media, nothing except a common-man workman like attitude.

I have always felt like that about current Dodger's manager (former Yankees manager) Joe Torre. The buck has always stopped here with this man. No blame, I'll take it. No excuses, you make them. Talks to the media and his players like men and is one. Well, it seems we have spoken too soon.

In a soon to be published book "The Yankee Years", Torre along with his "co-author"(think ghost writer) Tom Verducci, proceeds to rip Alex Rodriguez, George Steinbrenner, and Brian Cashman. The Festivus like airing of greivances is so unlike Torre, that I am still hesitant about writing this blogpost for fear of a retraction for smearing a man I hold in such great regard. In fact, I actually hope I have to post that retraction. A man of such high character, who works in a sport of such secrecy, and former integrity is just not a man who does such a thing. Unless we have had him pegged wrong all along, which I doubt.

Now, Tom Verducci has gone on record since this came out saying that this is a huge book and this is just a small portion. I have since gone on to speculate that this is expert marketing, along the lines of "Juiced" and other books of the like that have a few scintillating pages that are exploited to its fullest for $$$$. No doubt ESPN will continuously run this on the ticker between updates on how Brett Favre went fishing with his kids today and T.O. drove by Jerry Jones's house. They will talk and talk and talk about it ad nauseum on their worthless daytime schedule after replaying Sportscenter 25 times in a row. I'm getting off topic here. Good future blog material though!

At any rate, we know Joe has always been very honest, however he has always done it in a tactful and very thoughtful way. This would certainly be a departure in demeanor for him. Possibly taking his LA state farm commercial to heart. Joe, if you are reading this, I saw on the ticker that you said you and Brian Cashman have patched things up. That's great. Please go back to the man you have always been and don't talk about any of your past, present, or future sour grapes to anyone having anything to do with any media outlets of any kind. You used to be better than that.